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Another Ironman is done, this time in the land of watches and numbered bank accounts – Switzerland.
Preparation has been less than ideal for this Ironman after losing 6
weeks training to various illnesses Lilly-Mae brought home with her
from nursery (isn’t that why we send them? So they pick the bugs up
early, not us…?) added to that the event itself is 8 weeks earlier
than the one I did last year. So I missed out on 14 weeks training,
and when it came to the end of the bike and run – it showed….
Team Roberts left for Zurich on the Thursday before the race with
Ironman travel specialists Nirvana travel. The flight was
uneventful apart from Lilly-Mae having a complete fit and throwing
up everywhere as we came into land, the businessman sat in front of
us especially liked the spots of baby vom on him. With Lilly
stripped down to a nappy we negotiated passport control stinking of
‘off-cheese’ – you know what I’m talking about.
The traffic in Zurich was a nightmare and with all the Nirvana
Travel posse gathered, we were facing a long wait at the airport for
our transfer to the hotel – but all credit to them they racked up a
load of taxis to take us rather than wait for the transport that was
stuck in traffic. This was an inspired move, especially as
Lilly-Mae was on another ‘countdown to kick off’.
We were booked into the Ibis and in Nirvana’s own words it was
‘classic Ibis’. But it was what it was and it served the purpose –
somewhere to sleep and eat. Shortly after arriving I had the rather
delicate task of unpacking the ‘blade. I’d rented a bike box and
had been quietly sweating all the way about the state of my
surrogate son when we arrived, but it was undamaged. After
re-assembling the ‘blade and making sure everything was in order,
Team Roberts departed for a recce of the event……
We grabbed a taxi and headed down to where it was all happening, and
walking round it was clear this was no IMUK. This was a massive
event, with equally massive sponsors – it really brought home what a
different animal triathlon and Ironman is in Europe. It’s much much
bigger. Registration wasn’t until Friday afternoon, but they were
in fact allowing you to register all week – it was all easy easy.
Unlike IMUK where you got a shite drawstring bag and a random DVD –
here the sponsors big ££££ (or swiss francs I should say) were put
to use. You got a fantastic Ironman Switzerland rucksack, and I
mean a decent one you’d pay good money for. I’d actually seen
people walking around with them and was going to ask where to get
one, it was full of all sorts of handy nik nacs. I won’t bore you
(anymore than I am already) with the details but I really felt like
I was getting massive value for money already, especially as the
entry fee was much cheaper than IMUK.
The event itself was – an event. Unlike the luke warm IMUK this
place was buzzing with all sorts going on, including a kiddies park
with a selection of bouncy castles and activity area which Lilly-Mae
adopted as her own. So everyone was happy, all I had to do was the
race on Sunday – easy.
The good news just got better with a swim in the lake, it was warm
and clear. I’ve gotten so used to swimming without being able to
see where I’m going, with numb hands and feet I was unaware of this
new world of open water swimming.
Registered, briefed and having bought all the little bits and pieces
I’d left in UK all that was left to do was give the ‘blade a test
ride, and it was here the Team Roberts race train nearly came off
the rails…
Saturday 23rd June – Feelgood factor 9.0, sphincter rating 5.5
With the pre-race nerves yet to kick in I decided to ride to
transition to rack my bike and use that as a little test ride.
Bimbling along I was safe in the knowledge that no matter how much
training I hadn’t done, it didn’t matter now. As I sliced through
the gears disaster struck – it stuck in bottom gear! I frantically
worked the gear change both ways, which amounts to my bike mechanic
knowledge, but it wouldn’t budge. This gear was ideal for doing
150rpm and 5mph, not 112 miles under 6 hours. I got to transition
and fortunately there’s an extensive bike workshop laid on for such
eventualities, but with only an 1 ½ hours left to rack my bike
before transition closed - if they couldn’t fix it I was looking at
a real possibility of not racing.
I went into the workshop and pointed out the problem, there was a
lot of head scratching and gesturing as my German ain’t great! But
with two of them working on it, it didn’t look good. To compound
things all the cabling is internal on the blade, for that vital
aerodynamic advantage that I don’t need. Anyway, with my palms
sweaty and mouth dry they re-cabled it (taking 45mins) and it was
good to go – disaster averted. Reaching for my wallet they told me
it was free, all part of the Ironman set up! Don’t worry I did the
right thing by buying them a bottle of JD as a thank you, they were
supposed to shut as I arrived and the lad who fixed me up probably
thought he was on for an early night.
Bike racked it was back to the hotel to eat as much as I could fit in without throwing…..
Sunday 24th June 04.30am – Feelgood factor 4.5, sphincter rating 8.26
Getting up at 4.30am was a real arse, especially as I’d had 5
minutes sleep – but that’s Ironman for you! I struggled through
breakfast, but with the nerves and early start I couldn’t get much
down. I wasn’t too concerned though having eaten my bodyweight in
food over the last 24 hours.
A fleet of taxi’s arrived courtesy of Nirvana and ferried us all
down to transition – the nerves were really kicking in by now and
the conversation on the way was zero.
Unlike most Ironman events the transition area was classic
triathlon, no red/blue bag scenario. This meant it was exactly the
same as any normal triathlon with everything you needed by your bike
rack position. I laid everything out, checked all was in order
before making my way to the swim start. I changed into my wetsuit
and packed my white transition bag which we all left in huge skips
to be handed back to us at the finish area. I knew it was going to
be a warm day, so I covered myself in sun bloc as much as I could
and where I could reach. Just how warm I was going to find out in 7
hours time….
With all that done I had just enough time for a quick warm up in the
lake before we were all called out of the water. We were doing
something I’d not done before, a mass land start!
2.4 mile swim – PB 1hr 5 minutes, target time under that – feelgood
factor 1.21, sphincter factor 9.799
The elites were given a 10 minute head start before the klaxon
sounded and the stampede into the water began. It was utter mayhem,
nearly 2000 people hammering into the water – the worst swim start
I’ve ever been in. I tried not to freak out in the mass of
wetsuits, and concentrated in not having my goggles knocked off. It
would soon shake out and calm down, except it didn’t.
The sun was glinting off the lake making navigation very difficult,
everyone’s yellow swim hat was lost in the glint off the waves, as
were the small orange buoys marking the route. It wasn’t long
before we were at the first of 6 (yes six) turns, which degenerated
into another aqua-ruck. And so it went on, a huge melee with 6
choke points. I probably swam about 5km given my zig zaggin all
over the place.
Pulling myself out of the water a glance at the HRM showed 1hr
18minutes – 15 minutes down already on my PB! I sprinted through
transition to the blade…
112 mile bike – previous IM time 6hrs 39mins – feelgood factor 5.16,
sphincter factor 2.21
I was gutted with my swim time, 15 fricken minutes down already! I
grabbed my bike after a generous lubing with Vaseline and jogged out
of transition re-starting my HRM as I crossed the timing mat. Even
though it was early (8.20am) there was a good crowd by the bike
start (a crowd that would grow to over 50,000 around the course). I
peddled off hoping to make the time up on the bike, this was
supposed to be a fast bike course so I was confident of making the
time back. I got down on the tri bars and got busy overtaking
people, it was billiard smooth and flat – and kept been flat,
continued to be flat etc etc. Unlike IMUK where you immediately go
up a ball breaking bottom gear hill as soon as you leave transition,
this was a fantastic flat smooth road following the lake. It was
like this for over 10 miles before we turned up the first of the
only two hills on the course
The hill was horrendous obviously, but I didn’t mind after the
10mile time trial I’d done (27mins) at IM pace. The hill went on
and on but the scenery was amazing as we climbed above the lake and
the weather was fantastic. I was passed by ‘Eduardo’ on the climb –
we had our names in large letters instead of numbers – who was then
pinged by a marshal for drafting and given a 6 minute penalty which
I thought was a bit harsh. How can you draft going 5mph? Anyway,
what goes up must come down and the decent was as spectacular – I
stayed off the brakes and set a new PB on the blade 57.8mph. I
could’ve gone slightly faster but someone was weaving from one side
of the road to the other like a prick. This brought us back down to
the road by the lake and headed back to the start/finish cycling
past the crowds which was amazing.
We then cycled past start/finish to complete a mini loop
incorporating the other significant hill – Heartbreak Hill. But
even this was ok, yes it was a bottom gear 2mph job where you
thought you were cycling vertically – but there were huge crowds
lining the road. As you got near the top, the crowds closed in Tour
De France style leaving a gap just wide enough for you. I’d watched
this on the Tour and thought it must get on the riders tits, but it
was actually brilliant – it gave you a massive lift. There was even
an ‘oompah’ band at the top! Down the other side and back past the
start/finish again to start another loop for more of the same, the
problems started when I past the start finish for a 3rd time.
During the briefing I hadn’t really paid attention mainly due to the
person giving the brief sounding like a German porn star. I kept
expecting him to say ‘I’m the new limo driver, ja…’ or ‘I’m here to
fix your washing machine, ja…’, basically I’d got it into my head
that it was 2 ½ laps not 3. This was backed up by my trip computer
on my bike telling me I’d done over 90 miles meaning we couldn’t be
doing another full lap. That was of course on the assumption that
my trip computer was correct and hadn’t had any outside influences
such as, lets say, the electromagnetic field from a high voltage
tram line that runs up the side of the road on one of the hills
which makes the trip display speeds of anything from 399mph to 0mph
the whole time your riding next to it. Because if that happened it
would skew the distance covered by something like 20 miles. Ah.
That’s exactly what happened and as I expected to be directed around
a shorter lap missing out the long slog up the hill – I didn’t. It
was as I was going up the hill past the tram line I glanced down at
the trip to see I was in fact doing 399mph, then 99mph, then 299mph,
them 0mph. Shit. It hit me like a hammer, I didn’t have 10 miles
to go, I had 25mile…….including Heartbreak Hill again. It might not
seem like much but psychologically it battered me – I was a broken
man.
I scraped into transition in 6hrs 18 minutes – 20 minutes faster
than IMUK but 18 minutes slower than I wanted to.
26.2 mile run, previous IM time 4hrs 36 mins – feelgood factor 0.01
– sphincter factor *there wasn’t one as I’d lost all feeling.
Racking the blade I sat down to put my trainers on, whilst decking a
SiS smart gel which was like putting molten led down my throat. I
hadn’t realised but the temp was around 29° and everything had
boiled in transition. I also decided to have a pee whilst I sat
there putting my trainers on, it seemed like a good bit of
multitasking but what it in fact did was feel like someone was
pouring battery acid all over me. Despite the Vaseline everything
had been rubbed raw over the 112 miles. Standing up I had a boiling
hot ‘go’ gel, oxyshot and two painkillers. The smart gels and
oxyshot had been keeping me going, and I jogged out carrying a smart
gel with me for when it got really bad on the run. My back was semi
ok, but I’d had 6 painkillers on the bike so I couldn’t be sure.
Leaving transition I began to realise how hot it was – it was very
very hot.
The run is four laps around the edge of the lake – with plenty of
aid stations and crowds, especially as you run past the start/finish
3 times. I set off at 8 min mile pace but this soon started to drop
off and it took me 55 minutes to complete the 1st lap. Not a total
disaster but I could feel myself fading fast. I didn’t suffer the
kind of paranoia I did at IMUK, but I was massively concerned with
either taking too much water on or not enough as either scenario
would result in a DNF.
So without boring you it went on like this, dancing the knife edge
of dehydration and electrolyte imbalance with the sun feeling like
it was peeling the skin off my back. I slowed, and slowed, and
slowed….. On the last lap I had to walk for over a half a mile to
gather myself. I was having a terrible time, but at least I wasn’t
one of the countless people being put into the back of an ambulance.
I eventually finished in 4hrs 49m, plodding down the finish line I
saw Amy and LM – I did the customary thing and ran down the
Lilly-Mae. But she wasn’t getting down with the noise and almost
started to cry! But she liked the finish and cheered along with
everyone else. 12hrs 36 mins, it was over…………
I wandered around the finish area, everything was burning from
either the sun or being rubbed raw. My back was wrecked from the
bike and running and for the last 5km of the run I could feel the
dry heaves coming on and stomach cramps. I got my white bag with
all my essentials in and attempted to have a shower. I followed
this up with more vacant wandering around as things began to shut
down one by one. I knew I had to grab something to eat and get back
to the hotel before I lost all gross motor function, and the sun
burn was crippling. I downed an electrolyte drink and recovery
shake, nearly throwing them back up as my stomach by now was not
having a great time after having nothing but gels for 12 hours.
I met the girls outside the athlete area and did the 2nd hardest
thing of the day, get all my stuff together and out of transition.
I was bare foot as both my big toes had the skin rubbed off them.
Now we had the job of getting back to the hotel, but thank god for
Nirvana they were there with a van for the bikes and a mini bus to
ferry people back.
At the hotel Amy got me a sandwich we I tried to eat whilst I had
half a bottle of aftersun put on my crispy fried shoulders. I had
put sun bloc on in the morning, but it was sweated off during the
day.
So here I am - another IM under the belt, but I am disappointed. I
was confident of a sub 12 hour finish, but this is Ironman and
anything can happen in the race. Bala 3 weeks previously had given
me massive confidence of a good time, but this is what Ironman is
all about. And at least I finished, I could’ve fallen victim to the
heat by DNF as opposed to not doing the time I wanted.
As for my IM plans for next year – that all depends on work (as in
whether I am) but I’m going to try and get into Lake Placid. No
more sponsorship though, IM has got a bit boring for you all and to
generate new interest I’d have to do the treble of deca Ironman.
Which I’m not!
Next race for me is a couple of Olympic distance races in July then
LA Oly race in Sept with money we don’t have – but since when has
that stopped us?? |
